By now, many of us have seen the viral clip from Amber Rose’s podcast where she boldly declares, “I don’t forgive.” Her words sparked a wave of debate and controversy, with some applauding her honesty and others questioning her stance on forgiveness. But what if I told you that not forgiving can actually be a liberating and empowering choice?

Before we dive in, let’s unpack what forgiveness truly means. Forgiveness is often portrayed as a noble and virtuous act – a magnanimous gesture of letting go of anger, resentment, and bitterness towards those who have wronged us. But what if forgiveness isn’t always the right choice for everyone?

Forgiveness is not a one-size-fits-all solution, we’re all unique individuals with our own experiences, traumas, and coping mechanisms. What works for one person may not work for another. And that’s okay. It’s important to honor your own journey and make choices that align with your values, beliefs, and emotional needs.

Forgiving someone does not mean that you have to reconcile with them or maintain a relationship. It’s possible to forgive someone from a distance, without inviting them back into your life or exposing yourself to further harm. Sometimes, the healthiest choice is to forgive and let go – for your own peace of mind.

Holding onto anger, resentment, or pain can serve as a protective barrier – a shield against further harm or betrayal. In some cases, choosing not to forgive may be an act of self-preservation – a way of setting boundaries and protecting yourself from future harm.

It’s important to recognize that forgiveness is not about denying or minimizing your feelings. You have every right to feel hurt, angry, or betrayed by someone’s actions. And choosing not to forgive does not mean that you’re holding onto grudges or harboring negativity – it simply means that you’re honoring your own truth and emotional experience.

Healing is a deeply personal and individual journey, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. For some, forgiveness may be an essential part of the healing process. For others, it may not be necessary or beneficial. Trust yourself to know what’s best for you and your own healing journey.

So, the next time you find yourself grappling with the idea of forgiveness, remember this, You don’t have to forgive because forgiveness is a deeply personal choice. And choosing not to forgive can be a powerful act of self-love, self-respect, and self-preservation.